Breaking down our dollop-sophy Pt2 (the trumps and turds edition)

Don’t do voodoo with doodoo

If you missed our last foray into dollop’s philosophy – dollop-sophy if you will – here’s a quick recap:

It’s never as serious as you think: seriousness means tension, tension means pressure, pressure means unhappy people and unhappy people make mistakes. So, even in business, we need to chill the flip out.

It’s only scary if you’ve never done it before: the longer we stew over something scary, the more it scares us. Sometimes you’ve just got to crack on and face that fear. Stupid fear!

You can get all of Pt1 here – right here.

For context, our whole dollop-sophy is laid out below.

Yes it looks like it was scribbled down in a mad moment, on the back of someone’s head, after one two many Jägerbombs in the Hobgoblin on a Saturday night. But then again, maybe all the best rules-to-live-by do:

1) It’s never as serious as you think

2) It’s only scary if you’ve never done it before

3) Ideas trump gimmicks

4) Turd polish is a waste of money

5) You should never pay for stuff you don’t need

6) Happy people create better things

7) Too much pastry makes you sluggish

8) Sluggish is cool – if you’re a slug

9) The world needs more misfits

10) Never give a machine gun to a gorilla Got it? Cool, now back to Pt2. The trumpy, turdy edition.

3) Ideas trump gimmicks

Cabbage patch kids, stuffed crust pizzas, the F Plan diet. Gimmicks, gimmicks, gimmicks. The latest shiny things that everyone chases, thinking they’re going to fill the gaps in their empty lives. Only to find they feel even emptier 30 seconds later – just like their bank accounts.

Cynical? Me? Never.

And marketing is crammed to the top of its polyester turtleneck with gimmicks. If you’re in the game, you know exactly what I mean. The here today, gone tomorrow tat that’s launched a thousand sweatshops. These kind of monstrosities:

Air Dancing Inflatable Tube Guy. Look at him, what a d**k. And guess what, he probably makes you look like one too.

Stress Balls. Mate, I’m getting stressed just thinking about them.

Mouse Mats. No one use mouse mats. Stop making mouse mats Mr. Mouse Mat Maker, if you can hear me please, just stop, I beg you.

Next time you ask your creative agency, “what’s the idea”, and they say, “glow in the dark deely boppers for terrapins”, ask them “why”.

To be fair, glow in the dark deely boppers for terrapins may be a stroke of genius. But the idea behind it is what’s important. Creative ideas are what will ultimately sort your wheat from everyone else’s chaff. Not singing water bottles, hovering USB sticks or eco-friendly gimp masks.

A creative idea needs to be rooted in who you are, the core strategic thought that drives everything you do. It should be fresh, own-able and memorable.

An eco-friendly gimp mask is just a vehicle to bring your idea to life, not the idea itself. Remember, it was your idea, not mine. Who said gimp mask? Not me.

Moving on.

4) Turd polish is a waste of money

Now, this happens a lot. A lot, lot. “We’ve got this logo we had designed by Mary’s mate, and a website built by Barry’s sister’s next door neighbour. None of it’s quite working, but we don’t want to start from scratch.”

I get it. It’s painful having invested all that money, just to realise you’ve bought an out of date kipper. But, that kipper needs to go. Don’t even give it to the cat. Burn it and bury the ashes.

Trying to unpick someone else’s code. Trying to turn a dog’s dinner into a gourmet meal. It’s gonna end in tears.

Swallow your pride, put the turd polish back on the shelf and go back to the drawing board. Work out where you went wrong, or ask someone who can look at your problem objectively to give you their (our) opinion.

We don’t do voodoo with doodoo. We can’t put the freshness back in a pile of cack. Best we wipe the slate clean, hose it down with disinfectant and get the air freshener out. Then start again with a stain-free sheet.

Now wash your hands.

If you’ve got the stomach for it, Pt3 should be coming pretty soon. Meanwhile if you want to talk to an ideas-first creative agency with super-sanitary habits, call us on: 01273 458568 or drop us a line at: – can’t wait.