Breaking down our dollop-sophy Pt1 (post-rationalisation of a hastily cobbled manifesto)

Words, like mud, have a tendency to stick

Way back in February 2024 (seems like a million years ago), some idiot, called Tom, decided to post the dollop philosophy, ‘our dollop-sophy’ on LinkedIn. Right there in the public domain for everyone, even serious grown-ups, like potential clients, to see.

And now we have to live with it. Maybe forever.

In case you need reminding, here it is in all its full, stupid-faced glory:

1) It’s never as serious as you think

2) It’s only scary if you’ve never done it before

3) Ideas trump gimmicks

4) Turd polish is a waste of money

5) You should never pay for stuff you don’t need

6) Happy people create better things

7) Too much pastry makes you sluggish

8) Sluggish is cool – if you’re a slug

9) The world needs more misfits

10) Never give a machine gun to a gorilla

Pick the meaty bits out of that then

In the interest of trying to sound like we knew what we were talking about. Here’s a proper un-pickulation of the first two tenets of our dollop-sophy (really, are we still calling it that – yes we are).

1) It’s never as serious as you think

We’re talking design, branding and marketing. We are NOT talking famine relief, global warming or ingrowing toenails. Mind you, if you need anything applying from list one to list two, we’d definitely be up for a chat.

I’ve seen Studio Managers bust blood vessels over impending copy deadlines. Account Directors threatening harikiri over a rogue typo. Design Directors soil themselves over some kerning catastrophe.

Chill the flip out, man.

Not that we don’t take our job or your project seriously, it’s just that there is a mathematical equation, proven to be 100% reliable when it comes to disproportionate workplace gravity:

The depth to which an object is thrust up its own a**e is incontrovertibly reflective of how far one will have to travel up said a**e to retrieve one’s Rolex.

In other words, the more tense you are, the more pressure you impose on yourself and the people around you – the more likely you are to cock everything up.

Another way of looking at it, when you stop taking yourself or your brand so painfully seriously, you unlock parts of the intellect that would otherwise remain hidden. You start to see fun possibilities, where once only scary probabilities lurked.

Free your mind and the rest will follow (can anyone else smell joss sticks?).

The best brands exude positivity. That positivity doesn’t come from chaining yourself to a timesheet or setting unreasonable targets for an already stressed-out marketing team. Happy people make cool stuff. Yeeeaaaah.

So next time you feel like you could plant spuds in the furrows on your forehead, remember – it’s never as serious as you think.

2) It’s only scary if you’ve never done it before

Let me hear you scream. Good innit!

When we set up dollop, I was, I think the polite phrase is, ‘bricking it’. What would people think? Would we ever win any business? Is ‘dollop’ a ridiculous brand name? Should we do something less risky, I dunno, like, crocodile taming?

Then we did it. And it was about as scary as candyfloss.

‘salways the same, we get something lodged in our little brains and pump it up with hormones until it’s as big as a medium-sized Hippo. Disastrous future scenarios unfold on the inner screen. Sharknado meets Snakes on a Plane meets Tremors.

If your knees are a-knockin’ then maybe something natural and lovely and wholesome is just round the next corner.

Jump in. Both feet. No crash helmet.

Fear is not your friend, we are. And we’ll hold your hand all the way through that bloodcurdling rebrand. You’ll see – everything will turn out just fine. Have some chamomile tea. Breathe.

Actually you know what. This dollop-sophy thing might not be as daft as we thought.

Read Part 2 of our dollop-sophy right here.

If you’re already convinced, or haven’t got the patience to hang around for the next installment, give us a bell on: 01273 458568 or drop us a line at: hello@dollopcreative.co.uk – let’s get your ball rolling.

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…oh boy, we’re gonna get along like squirrels in a nut factory.

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